It's been 160 days, or 5 months 7 days, since I last posted, and I just wanted to begin by apologising for not updating, for anyone who's been coming back to this blog over the past 5 months expecting something to read. It's an age where people hardly have blogs anymore, and the relevance of blogs is (I feel) starting to(or maybe already has) decline. For someone living in Singapore, whose friends and family, and almost everyone I know, live in Singapore, it's just not that necessary to have a blog. Despite this, I feel a strange obligation (I've said this many times) to update my blog from time to time. It's even less relevant for me because I don't even post about what happens in my life all that often. Still, I don't have twitter or instagram, and I hardly share/post anything on facebook, so I guess it's through my blog that anyone even knows what I think or want to say occasionally, since I don't talk that much in real life anyway. Unless around certain people or certain alcoholic beverages. But that's a different story.
Anyway, I normally don't post much about what's going in my life, but....meh. Last you guys heard(read?) from me on this blog, I was enlisting and for all you know after that I just died or went to Nigeria or something. No offense to Nigeria. Beautiful place. Less the 419 scammers. And I guess the poverty. And crime. Okay not that beautiful a place, but that's besides the point.
So I enlisted. I was posted to 4th Coy in BMTC School 4. My BMT experience was just like any other, tekan, then lots of funny nonsense. And fucked-up people. Can't miss those out. As I learnt in the next few months, they're everywhere. For the last few weeks in BMT I really wanted to be posted out as a driver, because frankly after field camp, I realised that I really hated the feeling of having camo on my face. Like, a lot. I don't mind going outfield, as long as I don't have camo on my face. And being a driver was basically one of the slackest things you could do, and you get a chance to get a license in the process. Awesome. However, to be a driver, you have to pretty much opt to not go to command school, i.e. SCS and OCS. And the risk of becoming an infantry man was just too much, so in the end I opted to go to SCS, because if you're gonna be in infantry, might as well be a commander. Better life. Why not OCS? Because Scorpion King and Centipede, that's why. Ask the OCS people about it. And you know what, since I opted to not go for OCS even if I qualified, I still don't know whether I did qualify for OCS. I made an educated guess, but with the SAF you never know.
In SCS, I was posted to Charlie Coy, which ended up being a good deal, because despite being less slack than Bravo and Delta, it's still SCS. We slack. Lol. 8 weeks at Charlie. It was pretty fun, again, lots of funny nonsense. For the entirety of the last few weeks, I was basically completely sure I was going to Military Police, despite all the rumours (and one blatant lie from the CO) that there was no intake for our batch, that even if there was it wouldn't be me, blah blah blah. Posting day was intense. Some screw up at HQ delayed our posting orders so we just sat there for 4 hours waiting. When my name was finally called (our coy decided to drama a bit and say the names first, then posting, whereas almost every other coy said posting first, then started calling out names), it was with a bunch of people who didn't look like they would be going to MP. Then they called the 2 people who signed on to MP (and as a result were definitely going there), and we were with them. We literally shouted and jumped around for joy. Then got knocked down because they were trying to tell us something and this was the only way to shut us up. But lulz.
And here I am now, posted to MP Command as a specialist-to-be. I'm in my 5th week here, with, inclusive of this week, 8 weeks more to go. MP is awesome, and I really couldn't ask for anything more. Except maybe to not serve NS. Barring that, post me to MWDU pl0x?
I've heard people talk about how army is a life-changer, or how they really learned a lot about themselves from the army and stuff like that. I don't really feel like I've learnt all that much about myself from being in the army, and I certainly don't feel like my life has changed all that much. I mean, getting the opportunity to shoot rifles, fire grenades and stuff is damn cool, no doubt, but it's not a life-changer. You won't fire off a grenade launcher and go "Damn, I see the light now". Unless by "the light" you mean the explosion from the grenade. Or unless you are that kind of person. In which case, good for you. Grenade launcher enlightenment.
But it is a fun experience. I'll update more when I can more accurately verbalise the random thoughts flying around in my head now. And I promise it won't take me 5 months.
"Now wait a minute, TC," You say, "You haven't written letters to your social life before." Yes, yes I have.
"Now wait a minute, TC," You say, "Isn't it a little weird to write letters to abstract concepts instead of any entity?" Nope.avi
"Now wait a minute, TC," You say, "Why are you inventing imaginary characters to ask you these strange questions?" It's a thing.
"Now wait a minute, TC," You say, "What social life?" Well. That...I.. shutup.
My dear social life (again),
Almost 2 years ago, we parted ways as I ran away with this beautiful computer (who I am typing this on right na0) to explore Skyrim. And what a grand exploration that was. I'm not quite nearly done yet, but a while back you asked for us to get together again, and so we did. I had some fun times with you, o dear social life. Thus, it is with heavy hand that I must yet again pen such a letter to you, informing you of yet another imminent separation.
This time is different, though, I assure you. The last time we went our separated ways, it was a choice on my part. A difficult choice it was (not at all), but a choice nonetheless. This time, it is not a choice of mine. The SAF has taken me away, and I leave tomorrow. They have promised to introduce me to my wife though, a beautiful lady by the name of SAR 21. I am told that "she shoots very far" and is in fact "made in Singapura"
I am unsure how long it will be before we meet again, o dear social life. Believe me, if it were up to me, this letter would not even have been conceived of. Regardless, I think it a safe bet that it will not be the same, for the next few months at least. Goodbye social life. 'Til we meet again,
Sincerely,
TC
tl;dr version: Going to army, will be a bit of a recluse na0.
Goodbye world. See you in 2++ weeks.
I'm finally updating. Rejoice, readers of Okaycan.
AN UPDATE!!!!
Eh first I'm gonna apologise or as Seraph from The Matrix puts it, "First, I must APOROGISE". Anyway, sorry to everyone who's been constantly checking this blog waiting for updates. If no one actually constantly checked this page looking for updates then ignore the above, and I'll just proceed to emo one corner.
ANYWAY. Sorry for not updating for 4 months; to reward you loyal readers for your patience, here iz kittehs. Or more specifically, the itteh bitteh kitteh committeh:
Yes I am a cat person.
I am currently blogging because I am actually down with the flu which, ironically, helps me focus. Because my ears get blocked and I can't really hear most things. So it's very peacefully quiet. I like it, but I don't like getting my ass kicked by this stupid flu, so I'm gonna blog while I can and get rid of this flu asap.
For lack of a proper blog topic I'll just update you guys on what I've been doing the past few months.
In January I found a job working for High Achievers. They do camps for schools. I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to tell people about the job so what I'll say is I didn't like it. Some people find it meaningful and I guess if you do then good for you. But I found it unnecessarily stressful and I gave up after ONE camp (yes, I'm a quitter. Sue me). Furthermore, this camp has further convinced me that kids are the spawn of the devil. Annoying little buggers.
Just look at those evil, evil eyes.
For more details on why I didn't like it feel free to contact me personally and get ready for a rant.
At the end of January having decided to not do any more camps, I began sourcing for a different job. Sidetrack: Around this period I started playing Dungeons & Dragons with a small group of friends, which I'll say has been awesome so far. Yes, I'm a geek. Surprise.
Shock and horror.
Back on topic: so anyway, I was running around buying stuff for my D&D games (dice, sexdolls stuff), and I eventually went down to Paradigm Infinitum to get my dice and sexdolls stuff, and I happened to ask if they had any job openings, and turns out they did. So I've been working there since then. We sell board games/card games and stuff. Do drop by one of our outlets and buy stuff visit! I'll be there(there being the Fusionopolis outlet at One-north MRT) until 30th April, which is my last day, after which I shall lepak until I have to go serve this great nation.
In March I realised that I've been spending too much time sitting around doing nothing so I decided to be productive. I'll train once a week, and practice drumming once a week(neither of which are nearly enough), which leaves me with 1 more day to rest and recover, while I work 4 days. At first I got a lot of shit done, but after awhile the repetition started to wear me down. Did I mention I hate routines? Probably gonna hate the army but meh.
And not a two-shit-flying-fuck was given.
Mostly because I have no choice anyway. So good thing ventures people have been planning regular outings and stuff, which disrupts my training totally, but it breaks the monotony and for that I am grateful. (That's a shout out guys. I don't know if I'm popular enough to give shout outs. Does one have to be popular to give shout outs? How popular do you have to be before you're qualified to give shout outs? Why do I love long rambling paragraphs in parentheses? Why am I being meta?)
So yes, that has been the past 4 months of my life. Yeah. I spent 4 months doing the same things over and over again. Judge me why don't you.
Haters gonna hate
At this point I would like to apologise APOROGISE to everyone with a slow internet connection because I've been spamming gifs. No, I'm not gonna remove any gifs because you're too poor to get broadband.
Now, as a reward for slogging through this somewhat lengthy post, this funny african dude:
He's absolutely hilarious. Watch and subscribe, people.
And now, more content! So far every time I've been sick I've taken a nap at some point simply because I was feeling like shit, and every time that happened I've had some sort of dream/hallucination. I'm not sure which it is because I feel awake but it's totally wacky. The first instance I remember is when I had a headache/fever last year, and I saw lines and circular nodes all over the room. To aid in visualisation, here's a picture:
Imagine diagram B, but with a lot more lines and with the lines extending past the nodes. It was kinda weird. I remember that it meant something but I couldn't remember what it was when I woke up. Like I said, weird. Another weird thing was that I could actually see these lines and nodes from different angles (I'm not sure how, which I guess would suggest I was actually asleep and dreaming) and if you'll look the circles there appear to be 2-D. Now, if you look at a 2-D object from the side, it's flat, so it looks like a line. But the circular nodes in my dream/hallucination actually looked like circles from every angle.
Today while I was falling asleep after getting kicked around by my flu all day, it was almost entirely quiet because of my awesomely blocked ears (which are still kind of blocked, which sucks) and as I was falling asleep I heard like the most awesome melody. It involved one violin and a female voice. This would be an awesome story if I remembered what it was (and would probably be more believable) but I cannot recall that melody now, only that it was awesome. See I would totally be an awesome musician if I could recall stuff like that. And if I actually had any musical knowledge. MEH.
Error 404: Fucks not found. Unable to give a fuck.
Now at this point you're probably saying, "TC, that's totally weird of you." (or not, since I suppose most people don't have imaginary conversations with other people by themselves......or DO THEY? DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNN. Let me know. And look here I go with the rambling passages in parentheses again. I realise this isn't helping. Huh. Parentheses appear to be a real issue. THEY'RE TAKING OVER THE WORLD AND WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IT). And I'll admit that the above does sound a bit strange. However, I am going to conveniently deflect any further thought from this topic by embedding another Maximbady(that's the african dude up there ^) video.
He's shouting in that video so turn down your volume a little.
Anyway, this would probably be my last post for a little while, since I doubt I'll find the focus and content to write another post before 9th May (my enlistment day) and after that I doubt I'll have the time/energy to be writing posts, at least until POP, so don't expect any posts until July I guess. Don't miss me while I'm gone, but in case you do here's a kitteh to keep you company:
And I suppose that is all for now. Wish me luck.
P.S. My blog posts have titles now!
TITLED POSTS!!!!!!
Unfortunately they're just the date the post was written on cos I can't be arsed to think of proper titles, especially not when I'm sneezing every 4 seconds. See you guys in 3 months.
I'm having trouble starting this post because frankly I don't know what to say. 2012 just popped up before December 2011 was properly enjoyed and you know what, just like that, it's gone already. I'm glad I'm enlisting in May, so I can take some time to slow down and relax. No homework, no "oh shit A levels are coming" kinda feeling. Though I do feel some trepidation regarding the A level results (haven't exactly been a stellar student), we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. One step at a time.
First, I'm gonna share this article from Cracked: 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person. It's cynical, it's harsh, it may not be true, but I think it makes sense. Live by it if you like, don't if you don't, but I thought it was interesting.
2012 was a busy year, I suppose, what with the studying and the examinations and the studying etc. Though I have to say there wasn't all that much studying on my part. Maybe we should take a moment at the end of every year, though, to see what we've accomplished. What have you achieved this year? I can't say I've actually achieved much this year, and funnily enough my first instinct is to blame it on being a JC student. Like how it's a stifling environment, or how it's too busy or whatever. But you know what, that's not really it. I guess I haven't achieved much because I was lazy. I still am, but I've decided to get off my ass more often, so that's a plus. I realised how dangerous a trap it is, to think that just because you recognise your own faults, that that makes it okay. I'm always going "Well yeah I'm X, but at least I know I'm X". But it just hit me that it's not all that big a difference if you're not gonna do anything about it. I guess that seems kinda "duh" but I've never really thought about it.
Here's a song from The National because I can't think of what to say:
2ND JAN 2013
I've dragged this post out over a few days because I went to bed before finishing it on the morning of 31st December. And then after that COWNDAUN madness.
Well 2012 is finally over. 2013 looks to be a fun year so far. Seems like yesterday I stepped into class on the first day of school thinking it was gonna be a long year. This year, rather than any specific new year resolutions, I'm going to aim for general improvement. I will get stronger, smarter, richer and hopefully nicer. I know I'm not a very pleasant person lots of the time, but at least I know I'm...lol JK. I'm going to be nicer. And I will be more spontaneous, less fearful, less cautious.
At this point I've begun reading my previous posts for ideas on what to continue writing about, and I realise just how damn condescending and self-absorbed my posts are. Why didn't anyone tell me? You twats. Or do you guys actually like the condescension and self-absorption?
I also stumbled across the first blog post of last year and realised that I said I would say hi to any new readers I've gotten over the new year. Hi, new readers. Welcome to Okaycan. This is what it's like. Long walls of text, occasionally inane, usually lengthy, sometimes boring and updated infrequently. Isn't that a joy.
Realise I haven't done lists in a long while. Or guides. So here's a guide, in the FORM OF A LIST. Like, whoa.
6 Ways to Build a Giant Ego
6. Fake It Till You Make It.
It's a common method of combating depression and low self-esteem. Pretend that you do have confidence, or pretend that you're happy. Act like you're a badass mofo even if you don't think you are. One day you'll realise that you're not acting anymore. One day being some day in the future, ranging from 1 to 999,999,999 days.
5. Do Things You're Good At
Doing things that you're good at tends to lead to successful results. It also lets you know what your strengths are. Successful results generate positive feelings and confidence. So if you keep doing things you're good at, you're gonna feel better about yourself and eventually become more confident. At first you'll just be confident in whatever it is you're good at, but that confidence eventually bleeds over into other aspects of your life. So you get better at other things. You see where this is going. Eventually. Also it really doesn't matter what it is you're good at, even if it seems useless. Whether you built an empire from dust, built a company from the ground up, built a table from wood, or built a giant ego from reading a list on the internet, as long as you're good at SOMETHING, remind yourself of that fact once in a while. Unless you're really good at making horrible puns. In which case you need to stop what you're doing and find something else you're good at. No one wants to hear your bad puns, you horrible person, you.
4. Spend Time With People Who Make You Feel Good About Yourself
And I mean people who genuinely make you feel good about yourself. Not those gangs rebellious teenagers in old TV series join and claim "They make me feel good about myself!". Because they probably don't really. It doesn't have to be people you know in real life. It could be your WoW guild. Your LOTRO Kinship. Your friends who hand you another beer even though you're already literally roaring drunk.Just people you enjoy spending time with.
3. Challenge Yourself
When you challenge yourself, you push your limits. That makes you get better at things, which incidentally feeds into point 5. Furthermore, overcoming a challenge makes you feel like capable. Even if it was something completely inane. For instance, say you get bored one afternoon and decide to see if you can flick a paper ball into a shoe from a few meters away. It serves absolutely no purpose (unless your life goal is to fill the shoes of the world with paper balls from a short distance away, in which case, go you), but you would still derive satisfaction from it simply because of the difficulty involved.
2. Watch Your Posture and Improve Your Image
Stand up straight, keep your chin up and dress better. You'll start feeling better about yourself instantly. What you can do from this point on is to improve your image. There's always room for improvement. Maybe burn away your belly fat. Leg fat. Arm fat. Okay that's some disgusting imagery right there. I apologise. Continuing on. Maybe get a haircut, or just style your hair a different way, see how people react to it. Though you should not get a mullet under any circumstances. That's just wrong.
1. Don't Be Afraid To Try, And To Fail
So many times we fail before we even begin, giving up because we fear failure. I know that feeling really well because heights turn me into a sissy coward. Anyway. The giving up. Maybe we're afraid of being embarrassed when we fail, or afraid of pain, or maybe just the feeling you get when things don't go as intended. But the important thing to note here is that failure is very normal. Even monkeys who spend their whole life jumping in trees, which comes instinctively to them, fall from time to time. Don't be afraid to try because there's a possibility of failure. Don't think that you're gonna fail. Try because there's a possibility of success. Think that you will succeed. As cliched as this saying is, "If you're afraid to fall, you fall because you are afraid." And even after you've tried and failed, don't think it ends with that failure. Accept it. Learn from it. Own your failures. Stand back and look at what went wrong. If you fell, ask yourself why? Was it because you hesitated during the jump? Were you focused on something else? Was a teacher with chickenshit hair asking you "What if you fall?"
Speaking from my own experiences, I can say that as much as the fear is, the satisfaction is greater. In fact, the greater the fear, the greater the satisfaction. If you've stood on the edge of a jump and thought, "Well, shit, that's really high up", or "That's really far" then went ahead and jumped anyway, that feeling, it's indescribable. Always, when you're standing there thinking "What if I fall?", ask yourself instead, "What if I don't?". That said, always be careful. Don't go around taking risks just because "Lolololol you said TRY!" because it's not about risk, it's about calculated risk. Skydiving is brave. Skydiving without a parachute is stupid. Anyway, if you try, and if you're not afraid of failure, then failure can't get you down. Every time you try in spite of your fear, you begin to feel better about yourself.
And that's it for now. I've temporarily lost all desire to blog. Happy new year people.
Am I the only one who feels weird sharing stuff (music, funny comic strips etc.) on Facebook? It's why I don't do it. It just feels like I'm shoving things in people's faces going "NA. LOOK! LOOK! SEEEEEE THIS THING THAT I LIKE!" and really no one asked for that. Which is why I'm gonna do that on my blog because I'm allowed to do that on my blog. I'm allowed to do that on Facebook too, but I feel less like a dick when I share things on my blog because I'm not forcing people to read my blog, whereas if you share things on Facebook and it appears on someone else's newsfeed it's more or less shoving it in their face. I know the feeling and I do not appreciate it. So you're welcome, people who do not like reading people's inane fb posts.
First off, this haunting track from Portal 2's soundtrack by awesome indie rock band The National, titled Exile Vilify:
Iz naise. I didn't actually finish Portal 2 because I didn't want to think too much, and I uninstalled it before I got back in the mood for some puzzle-solving. So I didn't actually get to hear this song in-game. Still.
Also there's this song, Apartment Story, also by The National. Catchy if you listen to it like 2 or 3 times.
The National also did "Rains of Castamere" for Game of Thrones, just saying.
Moving on.
Prom. I don't have much to say about it, except how horrible the emcee was. I know we couldn't really afford a very good one but...oh what's that you say? People say he was paid $4-5k for this? Really? For "jokes" like
Emcee: (talking to Brandon Pee) So you pee alot in school?
Pretty sure that's not worth even $5. Personally, I think it's worse to have someone trying but failing to be funny than to have someone who's not even trying. Okay, I'm done here.
Since I don't actually have much to talk about I figure I'll just share videos and stuff. Enjoy this french bulldog puppy trying to roll over:
Cutest thing I've seen all year. Possibly all my life. According to someone in the comments french bulldog anatomy is such that they have trouble rolling over and need to learn to do it by themselves when young, or they'll never be able to roll over. Which is sad. Still, wiki doesn't mention it and I have 0 knowledge on dog anatomy so.
Okay recently I haven't really blogged and that's mainly due to not having much to talk about. So (and I've said this many times) you reader things really have to give me some ideas sometimes. Just say like "Hey you could do a post about _____" or ask me an interesting question or something. I know what you're thinking, "It's YOUR blog, think of yer own damn blog topics." but seriously, I hardly have enough material for a blog post of any significant length, or something that you guys would probably be interested in. The more I blog, the more I feel like it's a very narcissistic.....thing. It's so very self-absorbed, and presumptuous. We write these things, little inconsequential things about our lives or whatever, and we put them online, thinking people care what we think or say, and sometimes (or most of the time) I think people don't. We're just bored or something, looking to kill time, so we read stuff or look at things on the internet until we feel sleepy, go to sleep and get up the next day to do it all again. Which then brings to mind the question of why I even bother blogging, which can be explained with 2 reasons
1) I get bored.
2) I am that narcissistic. Love hearing myself talk/think.
And maybe an odd sense of duty or obligation, having had a blog since Primary 3. It's been that long. Sometimes I look back at old posts and cringe.
So, to end off this post, feel free to ask me any questions or suggest blog topics, privately or otherwise, and if I don't have a problem with it I'll probably write a post about it or something.
Speaking of the word thing, did you know it comes from an old english/norse word (also thing), meaning an assembly or meeting?
From Middle English, from Old Englishþing(thing), from Proto-Germanic*þingan; compare German Ding, Danish and Norwegian ting. The word originally meant "assembly", then came to mean a specific issue discussed at such an assembly, and ultimately came to mean most broadly "an object". Compare the Latin rēs, also meaning legal matter. Modern use to refer to a Germanic assembly is likely influenced by cognates (from the same Proto-Germanic root) like Old Norseþing(thing), Swedishting, and Old High Germanding with this meaning.There, you learnt something new, albeit useless. Isn't that fun.
Alrighto we're finally graduating so I feel obliged to say something. I'm not very good at this sort of thing but still.
While many are feeling nostalgic and shit, I haven't yet begun to feel so. Maybe at grad ceremony. It's been 6 years in this hellhole wonderful learning environment, and though it has never hasn't always been fun all these 6 years, it's gonna be over in 2 months or so, whether we're ready for it or not. Speaking of ready, for all those gentlemen who still don't know how to tie a tie, yet for some reason are reading this blog before learning to tie one for tomorrow's grad ceremony, here. You are welcome. Back to graduating. From the obnoxious little buggers arriving in Malan Road campus on day 1, to the obnoxious buggers graduating from Boon Lay campus tomorrow, we've grown and learnt quite a bit. I wish the graduation ceremony, as impossible as this is, would be held at Malan Road campus though, so there's a sense of closure. But I guess it isn't really right to say closure, because it's not the end. As Gandalf the White puts it at the end of the Lord of the Rings, "End? No, the journey doesn't end here." He goes on to mention death but then, "And then you see it... White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise." So for people feeling sad, don't, because it isn't an end. It's just the beginning of the rest of our lives.
I was going to write down a list of thanks for everyone I know, but then it started feeling cheesy so for people who feel like you deserve thanks from me in one way or another, give yourself a pat on the back and feel free to approach me for a verbal confirmation of my thanks if/when you see me. Special mentions, however, are in order.
My subject tutors, without whom I wouldn't know anything. Not that I know a lot now. But a lot more than I would if they didn't teach.
All the people I hang out with all the time after lessons/stuff. I was going to list out all the names, but it started feeling a bit too homo so to avoid that I'll just leave it at that.
Everyone who has smiled/laughed (even a little bit) at all the stupid little jokes/puns/ I have made over the years, thank you as well. Whether you genuinely thought it was funny or not, sometimes these little bits of laughter and smiles are great ego/morale boosters. I promise to make more groan-worthy puns in the future.
Moving on. I've sometimes been asked, if given a choice, would I still have chosen to come to RV? Honestly, up till now I can't say for sure. I don't regret being in this school, per se, but I'm always curious about how everything would have gone down if I had gone to, say, RI or HCI. Probably wouldn't be there for long, looking at my results, but still. Or what if I had gone to a school which didn't have such prestige? I think the biggest difference lies in the people. I wonder, always, if I might have made as good friends as the ones I have now, if I had gone somewhere else. Whether good friends exist everywhere, waiting to be found, or whether it was an incredible stroke of luck that the people I click with happened to be in the school I chose? Sometimes I wish I'd gone to a poly after year 4, as the poly people whom I do know seem more adventurous and fun, but maybe it's because I don't know them that well. Ultimately, I guess it doesn't matter now, because, well, it doesn't matter.
Expect nothing to be smooth sailing from now on. By all accounts, life's a bitch. Expect to fall. Expect to get knocked down. But always expect to get up and keep going. Even though we haven't even taken A-levels yet, I just wanna say a few things. Some of us may not get good grades. Heck, I'm not expecting exactly stellar grades myself. But no matter what kinda grades you get, always know one thing: There's always a way out. I trust that most of you guys know (or have at least heard of) the channel 8 drama from long long ago, 出路. Remember that line from the intro to that show? "飘扬过海，我吃得起苦，相信天无绝人之路。" I didn't actually watch the show, but this line I feel is a great philosophy to live by. Actually just the last line. 相信天无绝人之路. And it's true. You always have a way out (not suicide pls). You may feel bad if you scored badly, or if you didn't get into the university you want, but remember this: life's gameplay style is a wide-open sandbox, not a linear action game. There is no fixed path you must traverse. No one says you have to get into a university right after JC, spend 3/4/5 years on a degree, then come out and get a job. You could choose to work for 2 years, to save up money and study overseas, and then choose to get a job that's not even related to your degree. Don't trap yourself within a single path and ignore all the other possibilities. Sure, doing things differently may get a little tough, or may take a little more time, but who's keeping score? It's not Super Mario Bros. You don't have to end the level in 600 seconds, and you don't have to collect the coins. The only thing that matters in the end is that you're alive, and you're happy. As long as you're happy, it doesn't matter if your highscore is 20 and you took the longest route through the game. It's not a speedrun or WCG.
Ending this post now, because I have to sleep in case I miss my own graduation tomorrow lulz. I just wanna say, thank you to everyone I've known these 6 years, even if you aren't from RV. My life has been just wonderful so far, and if I can say nothing else for my life the past 6 years, I will at least mention one thing. I had fun. And that's always......well, fun. Here's to 60 more years of fun, before we end up being lowered into a hole in the ground to rot, or burnt to a smoke crisp so your living relatives can gaze upon your remains and think it means something.
Also, being as it's graduation tomorrow, you can bet your ass they're gonna play that ridiculously overplayed Vitamin C song (hence the title of this post). You know the one. Yeah. Guys, just because the song is titled "Graduation" doesn't mean you have to play it at every single damned graduation. It's always bugged me a little. Sure the song is nostalgic and all......graduation-ish and stuff, but why couldn't we use a different song for once, like Into the West or Don't Stop Believing? Sheesh.
For people who still visit this blog despite studying for A levels/being busy with stuff, thanks, I appreciate it. Here's a cookie.
That's the biggest cookie in the world. Seriously. Google it. Don't think they ate it though. It's apparently chocolate chip. Like that makes a difference.
For those of you studying hard or just looking for an excuse to slack off, take some time out to enjoy some British humour delivered by the masterful Rowan Atkinson:
At some points he begins to resemble our Lang Arts/GP teachers. Particularly when he goes into Deadpan Snarker mode.
In other news, some guys did a graphic overhaul for Morrowind. I apologise for being unable to convey sufficient enthusiasm through text, but that shit is awesome.
There's a comparison video for Morrowind as it was in 2002 (That's 10 years ago. Don't you feel old.) and with the graphics overhaul last year (2011). Now, granted, the graphics aren't exactly like "ERMAHHGERRDD GRAFIXXXXZZXZ" good, but it was entirely user created. Last year. For a game that came out 10 years ago. Being the massive fan of The Elder Scrolls series that I am, I've played through Morrowind so many many times, and when Skyrim arrived I got a little sad because I realised that the graphics and game engine of Morrowind will never compare to Skyrim's, despite having such immersive gameplay. Regardless, I spent hundreds, literally hundreds of hours playing Morrowind, at first just playing the vanilla version over and over again, then eventually downloading mods and stuff.
Morrowind will forever hold a special place in my heart/gamer equivalent of a heart because it is the most immersive RPG I have ever played, and yes, that includes Skyrim. Skyrim is great, with its Radiant system which I'll admit does make the game feel more lifelike, but Morrowind had such depth that I'm frankly a little disappointed with Skyrim for not living up to it. Sure, Skyrim had better combat, better mechanics and whatnot, including the ability to kill people by shouting at them, but Morrowind had depth. Morrowind had much more variety. Skyrim has dual-wielding but that's a given at this point. Morrowind had daggers, longswords, shortswords, katanas, dai-katanas, spears, hammers, axes, throwing stars/darts and crossbows. Skyrim only has swords, axes, hammers, two handed varieties of swords, hammers and axes and bows. It took them a whole frigging expansion pack before they even thought of putting crossbows in. And did the world just completely forget about spears altogether in the 240 years since Morrowind? And you can't even take unarmed combat as a legit method of fighting anymore because it's ridiculously weak compared to any weapon you can wield.
In Morrowind, you can choose to join and pursue an entire questline for any of the following factions: Morag Tong (basically an assassin's guild), Fighter's Guild, Mage's Guild, any of 3 great houses, Thieves' Guild, Imperial Legion, Tribunal Temple, Any of 3 vampire clans, and a few other factions you automatically join during the main quest. In Skyrim, you get: The Companions(basically a Fighter's Guild), The College of Winterhold(basically a Mage's Guild), Thieves' Guild, Dark Brotherhood (assassins), and 1 of 2 sides of a civil war. The expansions for both games all add some factions but those are negligible. Based on rough estimates, Morrowind has about 400 quests, and Skyrim has 100+. In Morrowind, you had to work at something if you actually wanted to advance in a guild. For instance, if I wanted to advance in the mage's guild, I would need to get better at magic and be competent enough to be advanced. In the College of Winterhold questline in Skyrim, I can become the Archmage of the college in days, and without casting a single spell ever. It just doesn't feel like the same kind of achievement. It's a bit like travelling. You can run 10km, or drive 10km. But at the end of that 10km run you're gonna feel a lot more accomplished than after a 10km drive.
More importantly, Morrowind had characters, factions and stories that you could sympathise with. A random farmer you meet on the road, or some noble you decided to rob. Inconsequential relative to the entire game? Yes. But the game actually makes you care by drawing you in and giving you a reason to care, whether it's because the farmer is too poor to pay his landlord or the noble is a jerkass who just told you to piss off. Frankly, I couldn't really be arsed about the characters in Skyrim. I was drawn in on an intellectual level because I wanted to know the story, but there was just something missing about it, and I couldn't really care about those characters beyond what rewards I can receive from them. And sure, the radiant system allows for more spontaneous quests etc. but it takes away depth.
Ultimately, both games are still great, and one quality they share which makes them great is the inclusion of the Construction Set in Morrowind and Creation Kit in Skyrim, basically modding resources which allow users to create content for the game given some basic knowledge. These mods allow gamers to include or disable features that they may prefer that others might not, and more importantly, add heaps of new content and ideas to the game.
Overall, I'm not saying that Skyrim is a bad game, though the above may suggest otherwise. It is still an impressive game with hundreds of hours of gameplay in it, especially with all the mods and stuff, and certainly the game itself is fun to play. It's just that it doesn't really compare to Morrowind. Morrowind's like an old friend who's been with you since you were 4, and though you may occasionally blow him off to go hang out with that cool new kid Skyrim once in a while, ultimately your best friend is still Morrowind and you're gonna have the most fun with Morrowind in the end. But at least Skyrim is still cooler than that weirdo Oblivion. What a heap of randomly-mixed-together gunk.
I'm ranting about The Elder Scrolls because I don't know what else to talk about so seriously people who read my blog and wish to continue reading my blog please suggest stuff that I can talk about because I keep running out of ideas. I cannot count the times I've said "nothing to blog about". Just throw it out there and I might write about it. Literally suggest anything you want to see me blog about, like "Hey why don't you talk about the greatest game of our time in comparison with the second greatest game of our time?". There ^. Done.
I'm finally updating (I say this a lot, don't I?), because I promised to. I feel sort of fuzzy on what to write about, but I find that as I write it sort of just flows, so, this is my attempt at a blog post. If this one does get posted (I write drafts and delete them if I don't like them), then you (the reader. I mean, duh, who else would be reading except a reader. But yeah.) should know that I did try to post ever since that post from really long ago (March, was it?). I tried 5 or 6 times. I either fell asleep or couldn't think of what to write about.
Someone suggested I should plug Operation Smile, which is exactly what I'm doing now, since I'm a performer. Basically on 3rd August (someone's birthday) there's gonna be a charity concert, where the proceeds will go to kids with cleft lips, for their operation costs or something. I'm performing with Francis, Zhiyang and Justin, so people reading this, go buy your tickets na0 (they're $6). Bought it? Okaycan, let's continue.
Btw this song is awesumz:
So listen to it like na0.
Also this song:
And this one:
And I could just post videos for this entire post but I suppose that'd be cheating. Argh. Don't know what to talk about. Suppose I should say something about AYLC since I kept ranting about it when it was happening.
The Asian Young Leaders Convention (AYLC) brings together the young leaders, aged 15 to 17, who share a commitment to shaping the 21st century global landscape.
which is just fantastic, isn't it. Except, it isn't. Perhaps I'm not the best qualified to talk about this, seeing as how I haven't gone through the actual thing myself, but based on what I can see (and our teachers do like to say "I'd like to share some observations", so apparently observations are valid judgements), it's a load of horseshit. Let's evaluate whether AYLC fulfills it's aims, as stated on the website:
Resurface the governing values of today’s youths.
Promote the practice of values-based leadership skills.
Provide a platform for the internationalisation of both local and regional young leaders.
1. Resurface the governing values of today's youths.
There is no direct mention of what these values are, but this is RV after all, and they do mention "Sense of Appreciation, Responsibility, Self-Discipline and Self-Motivation" several times on the website, so I'll just assume that these are the "governing values" they are talking about. The word resurface implies that today's youths had these values in the first place, which is highly debatable.
The programme of AYLC as seen by students seemed to mostly consist of loud, incessant cheering and pointless games (e.g. throwing water bombs). I fail to see how this is even remotely related to sense of appreciation, responsibility, self-discipline and/or self-motivation. Perhaps it is the sheer amount of control required to not get frustrated that you paid $X to come here and throw water bombs at people? To give them some credit, the website does mention that participants would be planning and organising games for fellow participants. Maybe there's some development of leadership through this planning and stuff, but I doubt the few instances in which one haphazardly strings together a few simple games could teach one much about planning and organisation. Furthermore, I thought this was the Asian Young Leaders Convention, not the Asian Young Leaders-to-be Convention?
2. Promote the practice of values-based leadership skills
Again, I assume these values to be those mentioned above. The term values-based leadership has been thrown around for about 2 years or so now, and though we've certainly paid a lot of lip-service to it, I don't think it's been instilled into our students, much less international students visiting our school for a week. Every time this term, "values-based leadership" is mentioned, we inevitably come to our many Leader and Character Development (LCD) camps, which is basically the same orgy of loud incessant cheering and pointless games as most camps are in this school. It is important, at this point, to note that I am not criticising the camp itself. I just dislike the fact that they're passing them off as something that really aids character development when really it's just an excuse for students to slack a bit and beautify their CV.
It may come as a shock to some that teaching people cheers and getting them to cheer loudly along with you is not really what leadership is about (I know, right? We need to, like, tell the president or something.). Sure, it is an example of leadership, but a very simple form. When our school says leadership, they tend to refer to only top-down leadership. I don't suppose there is anything wrong with that, but my life in scouting has also taught me the importance of peer-leadership. We can't do away with top-down leadership, but all too often we neglect peer-leadership, so we end up thinking that being a leader is about ordering people around. Guess what? That strong, silent guy who just keeps going without a word when everyone's dying? He's a leader too. And a more powerful one than one who simply tells you to "加油" when you feel like you can't go on. Who is a greater source of motivation for you when you are on the brink of giving up? Someone telling you to "加油" or someone who's out there beside you, pushing just as hard as you, and not giving up, showing you that it can be done.
Coming back to AYLC, of course, it's an international event, we ought to give it some priority-status, so some things have to be sacrificed right? But for a camp that is about promoting values, it doesn't seem to do that much? Where is the responsibility? Your loud cheering - it's very annoying to the people in the classrooms. Very. And if you do it once or twice, fine. But all day? While we're trying to listen to what our teacher is saying about galvanic cells? The self-discipline, maybe it's there, maybe it isn't; I wouldn't know, since I didn't actually interact with the participants. Self-motivation......not so much. For people to constantly have to tell you what to do is not a great illustration of self-motivation, but that was pretty much what I saw happening throughout the camp, including instances of facilitators telling their groups to "吃快点， 没时间了". Yeah, great self-motivation there, leaders.
3.Provide a platform for the internationalisation of both local and regional young leaders
At this point it should be pretty clear that we don't really have many leaders participating in AYLC. We have a bunch of youths who want to be leaders (which is admirable), or who want to make their CV/resume look better (not as admirable). Our student council is supposed to be a group of student leaders who represent the students, but look what they actually are. No one is willing to follow you, SCs. No one. Not as a peer, not as someone with formal authority. Our SCs aren't actually leading anyone but themselves, which, if you think about it, isn't that great a feat. What was the ideal was a group of about 20, leading a group of hundreds, leading a group of 2500. What we have instead is a group of 20, leading a group of 20, and a group of hundreds scratching their belly buttons.
Feel free to disagree with me, but I think a leader should not require formal authority by the time he's done. Maybe when he's building up trust, he needs that authority to get people to do things and show them what he's capable of, but by the time you're done, people should be willing to follow you if you ask, not grudgingly say "okay" when you use your authority, or the school's authority to enforce your will. I can't say whether our international participants were leaders or not (again, because I didn't interact with them much), but I say that our local participants, and even the facilitators, are not good leaders (generally speaking. This is a very important point. I will change the font colour and bold it.), if leaders at all. So a group of non-leaders training a group of people to be leaders, guess what happens?
The only leader I saw in AYLC was this one Filipino guy who, back at home, taught his friends to play Ultimate Frisbee, and coached them himself. That's a leader, and guess what, he didn't need to come up with loud cheers and pointless mini-games to do any of that.
So overall, yes, have your AYLC, if it makes you feel good about yourself, branding yourself a leader just because you went through a camp with the word "Leader" in the title. Go to forums and talks by people with status and all that. But as I learned from a KI teacher called Mr Oja, "The certificate does not make you a leader". Being certified or being called a leader is nothing if you can't actually lead. And people will find out, and you will find out, when you can't lead, when that leadership is being tested, as I learned years ago.
So, ranting aside, I really don't like AYLC, but kudos to our principal for coming up with the idea. I suppose if you look at the school like a firm then AYLC is really good advertising and marketing. Tell me what you think about leadership and AYLC, or just comments in general, in the comments section or the cbox over there
-------->(and possibly upwards a little bit.) I leave you with this badass mofo:
Mind -> Blown.
Monday, March 19, 2012
I'm finally updating. I realised that I keep getting ideas for posts but I keep not posting them. I need to keep a notebook. Whenever whoever reads this just remind me to get a notebook when/if you see me.
First off, I notice my change in tone over the past year or so. I seem to have cut down on the humour and have been more sombre of late. I'll try to keep this cheery.
I want to start off by commenting on the whole Kony thing. While it is pretty obvious that Kony can be considered a despicable man, and probably deserves to be hated, I have to say that I really just don't care. Furthermore, I challenge any of you to honestly say that you do. I don't want to sound like an ass, but do any of you honestly care about what Kony did, what is happening now in Uganda? Do you even know where Uganda is? Do you know the name of Kony's resistance group? Do you know what he did beyond the fact that it involved children? Can you recognise Kony from a line of similarly dressed black men? My point is, beyond clicking like for the facebook pages, beyond sharing the Kony video, have you done anything? Did you honestly care? Or did you just want to care, or look like you care? My point being, we live in a world where we seem to pay lip service to alot of things. We agree, yeah this shit sucks, or that's not good. We "like" things on facebook that we agree with. But do you act on your "beliefs"? Do you believe, or are you just another keyboard warrior? And here's the thing: I believe that it's not even your fault if you just can't give a shit about Kony. I know I don't. I want to, but I don't. Without experiencing for ourselves the travesties he has committed, without seeing its effects first-hand, we cannot reasonably empathise with the situation at hand. We understand it on an intellectual level, of course, but we cannot connect on an emotional level, and thus we don't care. But I would rather we recognise our own apathy and admit it, rather than bury it and carry on with our online advocacy, generating false support for a cause that we don't even really believe in. Don't be a keyboard warrior, and instead get off your ass, and do something for something you believe in.
I realise that paragraph was rather harsh and sombre. Oh well, I tried. Speaking of Kony, did you know that the co-founder of Invisible Children, the group that made that infamous (yes, infamous) Kony video, was recently arrested for indecent exposure and vandalism. Apparently he went on a wild rampage wearing only his underwear, vandalised some cars, then stripped down to his birthday suit and started masturbating/making sexual gestures. His excuse is....“The past two weeks have taken a severe emotional toll on all of us and that toll manifested itself in an unfortunate incident yesterday." Really? Your campaign is successful beyond all expectations and you gallivant through the city in underwear? I'd hate to think what this man will do at his wedding.
Still, we have to give him credit. He brought to our attention an outrage that has gone on unnoticed for so many years by the average man. I don't think anything he could do will change that. Sure, doing crazy shit invites judgement on his character and thus his motivations for making such a video, but can you deny what it has achieved? I know I just said above that I don't care about Kony, but since we're talking about it I'm giving my stand, as I understand it, on an intellectual level.
Okay it's kinda late, and I've been up 17 hours with just 3.5 hours of sleep so I need to crash now. Kthxbai.
I'm posting again because frankly reading through the previous post makes me wince. Substandard bullshit. If any of you feel the same way I do apologise (for all the good that does (I've been using parentheses more often haven't I (z0mg parentheses in parentheses. AND ANOTHER! I actually did this once in an older draft but I lost that awesome rambling paragraph of like 4 layers of parentheses.) ? I suppose it gets confusing after abit. People, this is not the way to write. Excuse my obsession with parentheses.) , which is bugger all)
After receiving some -very- constructive feedback on my previous post I feel obliged to compensate by writing another post. TWO POSTS IN TWO DAYS. Enjoy it while it lasts. Also, the voice in my head is suddenly English, so I'm reading all of this stuff (what I type) in a fantastic British (London (oh look, more parentheses!)) accent.
To begin, Baldur's Gate is a CITY, Jerome. It is a city. It is not a gate. It is a city. Again, a CITY. Once more, and repeat after me on this, "Baldur's Gate is a city." Named after Balduran. The adventurer. Balduran. Baldur's Gate. You see how it works?
And now for something completely different.
Philosophy is not actually an abstract thing. I say this because many people are automatically disinterested the moment a conversation moves towards discussing such a topic. From the Greek (And I quote from Wiki, which is actually pretty reliable on the more significant pages, despite what people will tell you) "φιλοσοφία (philosophia)", which literally means "love of wisdom".Philosophy is the study of general and fundamental problems, such as those connected with existence, knowledge, values, reason, mind, and language. Talking to some people, the moment you even mention a long word, they begin to say, "Okay I don't know what you're talking about." This is insulting to yourself because you are implying that you do not have the sufficient intelligence to comprehend it (Although frankly it just sounds like a more polite way of saying "I don't want to talk to you." Come to think of it, that's probably the intended meaning. Hm. Whaddya know). The main reason why this is annoying is that most of the time, you are fully capable of understanding it. For instance, suppose I say, "I do not think that moral objectivism holds true. Instead, I believe that morality is a relative concept that is dependent on the context, i.e. the society in which this morality is being discussed." You may not know what "Moral objectivism" is, but by listening to the second sentence, it is not a difficult task to infer that moral objectivism probably means the belief that morality is objective (again, this is GP. Compre skills). And if you're not sure, you can always ask, "What is Moral Objectivism?" On a completely unrelated note, I realise I'm writing walls of text again.
My main point is that most of the time, when someone says something, and you think/say that you don't know what is being said, do you truly not understand, or are you just not trying to understand? For instance, if I start talking about "Mohist consequentialism" (found this term on wiki), you may not be familiar with the philosophy of 墨子, and it is excusable that you are not familiar with consequentialism (though only barely. Still, it is a 6 syllable word.). But if I say moral objectivism, as an 18 year old JC student taking GP at 'A' Levels, it is not really convincing to say that you don't know the words "Moral" and "Objectivity". IN CONCLUSION, the next time someone says something long/seemingly complex, before blinking and staring in stunned silence or simply proclaiming that you have no knowledge on the matter, actually take a moment to think about what is being said and review your knowledge, seeing if you truly have no bloody idea what is being said.
Because I've forgotten (yet again) what I want to say for the rest of this post, I'm gonna put in some filler material, which will probably help me remember. I need to start writing stuff down. Keep forgetting what I write in my blog posts. Sadly for those of you who are seeking a more base form of entertainment, it is still philosophy. I'm gonna try and write(type) out my philosophy on certain matters, which I've come to over just a few months of occasional reading and a bit of thinking and debate.
First, and I think, most pertinent (or at least the least boring (again, this is bad writing. If you know you're boring people, you should probably change what you're writing)) to my readers, I am an atheist. It is not a stand I have come to simply out of a desire to rebel against any specific social order, and it is definitely not so I can proclaim it. I was raised Buddhist (though that is debatable. More of raised Chinese. I wasn't really educated on Buddhist principles. Although I've picked up some over the years), and in primary school I tried being Christian (-GASP- (shock and horror) yeah it happened). The reason why I essentially stopped believing in Buddhism was that I couldn't really believe in the concept of becoming enlightened through removing craving (in any form). I haven't gone through it, so frankly I can't say if they are right or not, but I can safely say I would not wish to. With regards to trying to be Christian, I actually seriously considered it. Eventually I concluded that the reasoning did not make sense TO ME (this is important because it may make sense to others. I cannot judge because there is no way to confirm that everyone's minds work in the same way, or even whether other people have minds at all (this is solipsism). Or maybe my own reasoning is inadequate. Regardless, this is besides the point) and so I stopped believing in it. After reading arguments for both sides over the years, I've decided that it is much more likely that there is no God. Note that my view is not that there is definitely no God, but that it is impossible to prove that there is a God, and that it is highly unlikely. Of course, you are free to believe what you want, since, as mentioned previously, my reasoning may be inadequate, or simply just that our minds work differently.
Second, I do not believe in moral objectivism. I think that morality is a relative concept, dependent on the society in which one lives and was raised in. DISCLAIMER: Just because I say that nothing is intrinsically wrong (since I said morality is not objective), DOES NOT mean that I condone it. For instance, I may say that killing is not intrinsically and universally wrong, since it is only wrong relative to human society (Lions don't seem to have a problem with it), but it DOES NOT mean that I condone killing. In fact, for all my reasoning and all that, my morality is actually rooted in an irrational adherence to what my feelings tell me is right (which, in most situations, are congruent with societal notions of right and wrong), which I suppose ultimately comes down to social conditioning. Interesting.
Ooh I remembered what I wanted to say (see above if this line is confusing). Philosophy is boring if everyone agrees. I would really like to be able to talk to someone about philosophy and have them disagree with VALID ARGUMENTS. Most of the fun of Philosophy is in debate anyway. It is somewhat annoying (yet strangely satisfying), and does get dreadfully dull when I argue for determinism by presenting arguments and citing relevant analogies, to hear, "Yeah, I think so too". At least tell me why you think so too (unless you happen to have the exact same line of reasoning.)
Abrupt ending because I can't think of what to write for the moment and I'm kind of sleepy. There is a significant chunk of text to wade through already, anyway.
