In light of recent events, I present to you this handy side by side comparison of millipedes to one common delicacy many of us(but not me) enjoy --- Crabs. Not the parasitic louse, mind you, but the crustacean. Without further ado, let us proceed.
Millipedes - Taste bad raw.
Crabs - Taste bad raw.
Millipedes - Taste questionable cooked
Crabs - Taste questionable cooked.
Millipedes - Have many legs
Crabs - Have many legs
Millipedes - Have no endoskeleton
Crabs - Have no endoskeleton
Millipedes - Have an exoskeleton made of chitin
Crabs - Have an exoskeleton made of chitin
Millipedes - Have two antennae.
Crabs - Have two antennae.
Millipedes - Good source of protein
Crabs - Good source of protein
Millipedes - Stink.
Crabs - Also stink.
Millipedes - Found everywhere on land
Crabs - Found everywhere in the water.
Millipedes - Slow-moving
Crabs - Slow-moving
So as you can see, crabs and millipedes are rather similar, so really, if you eat crabs, don't diss people eating millipedes. But surely there are differences, you say. Of course.
Millipedes - Curl into a ball when poked.
Crabs - Tear off your finger when poked.
Millipedes - Cannot feel pain (according to a study by Norwegian scientists)
Crabs - Can feel pain (according to recent studies)
Millipedes - Require only your bare hands to catch. In fact, it's more of foraging than catching.
Crabs - Requires hours of waiting with a cage or walking around in water with a spear.
Millipedes - Will not be stolen by eager survival-mates
Crabs - Can be eaten by eager survival-mates when you're not looking.
Millipedes - Not slang for anything negative, and has not as of yet been associated with anything negative.
Crabs - Also the term for a parasitic louse that lives in pubic hair and gives you a nasty infection.
Millipedes - If uneaten, can be used as bait to catch fish.
Crabs - If uneaten, useless.
Millipedes - Can be juggled.
Crabs - Will tear your hand off when juggled.
Millipedes - Can be stored for future eating, or as a crunchy on-the-road snack.
Crabs - Are a pain in the ass to carry around.
So as you can see, there are many differences between crabs and millipedes as well, but would you look at that --- these differences show that it is less tedious, dangerous, and more humane to eat millipedes, which are more useful than crabs even when not eaten, and don't bring up any disgusting imagery.
