I'm having trouble starting this post because frankly I don't know what to say. 2012 just popped up before December 2011 was properly enjoyed and you know what, just like that, it's gone already. I'm glad I'm enlisting in May, so I can take some time to slow down and relax. No homework, no "oh shit A levels are coming" kinda feeling. Though I do feel some trepidation regarding the A level results (haven't exactly been a stellar student), we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. One step at a time.
First, I'm gonna share this article from Cracked: 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person. It's cynical, it's harsh, it may not be true, but I think it makes sense. Live by it if you like, don't if you don't, but I thought it was interesting.
2012 was a busy year, I suppose, what with the studying and the examinations and the studying etc. Though I have to say there wasn't all that much studying on my part. Maybe we should take a moment at the end of every year, though, to see what we've accomplished. What have you achieved this year? I can't say I've actually achieved much this year, and funnily enough my first instinct is to blame it on being a JC student. Like how it's a stifling environment, or how it's too busy or whatever. But you know what, that's not really it. I guess I haven't achieved much because I was lazy. I still am, but I've decided to get off my ass more often, so that's a plus. I realised how dangerous a trap it is, to think that just because you recognise your own faults, that that makes it okay. I'm always going "Well yeah I'm X, but at least I know I'm X". But it just hit me that it's not all that big a difference if you're not gonna do anything about it. I guess that seems kinda "duh" but I've never really thought about it.
Here's a song from The National because I can't think of what to say:
2ND JAN 2013
I've dragged this post out over a few days because I went to bed before finishing it on the morning of 31st December. And then after that COWNDAUN madness.
Well 2012 is finally over. 2013 looks to be a fun year so far. Seems like yesterday I stepped into class on the first day of school thinking it was gonna be a long year. This year, rather than any specific new year resolutions, I'm going to aim for general improvement. I will get stronger, smarter, richer and hopefully nicer. I know I'm not a very pleasant person lots of the time, but at least I know I'm...lol JK. I'm going to be nicer. And I will be more spontaneous, less fearful, less cautious.
At this point I've begun reading my previous posts for ideas on what to continue writing about, and I realise just how damn condescending and self-absorbed my posts are. Why didn't anyone tell me? You twats. Or do you guys actually like the condescension and self-absorption?
I also stumbled across the first blog post of last year and realised that I said I would say hi to any new readers I've gotten over the new year. Hi, new readers. Welcome to Okaycan. This is what it's like. Long walls of text, occasionally inane, usually lengthy, sometimes boring and updated infrequently. Isn't that a joy.
Realise I haven't done lists in a long while. Or guides. So here's a guide, in the FORM OF A LIST. Like, whoa.
6 Ways to Build a Giant Ego
6. Fake It Till You Make It.
It's a common method of combating depression and low self-esteem. Pretend that you do have confidence, or pretend that you're happy. Act like you're a badass mofo even if you don't think you are. One day you'll realise that you're not acting anymore. One day being some day in the future, ranging from 1 to 999,999,999 days.
5. Do Things You're Good At
Doing things that you're good at tends to lead to successful results. It also lets you know what your strengths are. Successful results generate positive feelings and confidence. So if you keep doing things you're good at, you're gonna feel better about yourself and eventually become more confident. At first you'll just be confident in whatever it is you're good at, but that confidence eventually bleeds over into other aspects of your life. So you get better at other things. You see where this is going. Eventually. Also it really doesn't matter what it is you're good at, even if it seems useless. Whether you built an empire from dust, built a company from the ground up, built a table from wood, or built a giant ego from reading a list on the internet, as long as you're good at SOMETHING, remind yourself of that fact once in a while. Unless you're really good at making horrible puns. In which case you need to stop what you're doing and find something else you're good at. No one wants to hear your bad puns, you horrible person, you.
4. Spend Time With People Who Make You Feel Good About Yourself
And I mean people who genuinely make you feel good about yourself. Not those gangs rebellious teenagers in old TV series join and claim "They make me feel good about myself!". Because they probably don't really. It doesn't have to be people you know in real life. It could be your WoW guild. Your LOTRO Kinship. Your friends who hand you another beer even though you're already literally roaring drunk. Just people you enjoy spending time with.
3. Challenge Yourself
When you challenge yourself, you push your limits. That makes you get better at things, which incidentally feeds into point 5. Furthermore, overcoming a challenge makes you feel like capable. Even if it was something completely inane. For instance, say you get bored one afternoon and decide to see if you can flick a paper ball into a shoe from a few meters away. It serves absolutely no purpose (unless your life goal is to fill the shoes of the world with paper balls from a short distance away, in which case, go you), but you would still derive satisfaction from it simply because of the difficulty involved.
2. Watch Your Posture and Improve Your Image
Stand up straight, keep your chin up and dress better. You'll start feeling better about yourself instantly. What you can do from this point on is to improve your image. There's always room for improvement. Maybe burn away your belly fat. Leg fat. Arm fat. Okay that's some disgusting imagery right there. I apologise. Continuing on. Maybe get a haircut, or just style your hair a different way, see how people react to it. Though you should not get a mullet under any circumstances. That's just wrong.
1. Don't Be Afraid To Try, And To Fail
So many times we fail before we even begin, giving up because we fear failure. I know that feeling really well because heights turn me into a sissy coward. Anyway. The giving up. Maybe we're afraid of being embarrassed when we fail, or afraid of pain, or maybe just the feeling you get when things don't go as intended. But the important thing to note here is that failure is very normal. Even monkeys who spend their whole life jumping in trees, which comes instinctively to them, fall from time to time. Don't be afraid to try because there's a possibility of failure. Don't think that you're gonna fail. Try because there's a possibility of success. Think that you will succeed. As cliched as this saying is, "If you're afraid to fall, you fall because you are afraid." And even after you've tried and failed, don't think it ends with that failure. Accept it. Learn from it. Own your failures. Stand back and look at what went wrong. If you fell, ask yourself why? Was it because you hesitated during the jump? Were you focused on something else? Was a teacher with chickenshit hair asking you "What if you fall?"
Speaking from my own experiences, I can say that as much as the fear is, the satisfaction is greater. In fact, the greater the fear, the greater the satisfaction. If you've stood on the edge of a jump and thought, "Well, shit, that's really high up", or "That's really far" then went ahead and jumped anyway, that feeling, it's indescribable. Always, when you're standing there thinking "What if I fall?", ask yourself instead, "What if I don't?". That said, always be careful. Don't go around taking risks just because "Lolololol you said TRY!" because it's not about risk, it's about calculated risk. Skydiving is brave. Skydiving without a parachute is stupid. Anyway, if you try, and if you're not afraid of failure, then failure can't get you down. Every time you try in spite of your fear, you begin to feel better about yourself.
And that's it for now. I've temporarily lost all desire to blog. Happy new year people.
To all my readers: Have a great year ahead!
