So I just went for a jog. And also some light conditioning. Turns out I have some gastric problem so I didn't really feel like training. I ended up taking a walk. I walk in my usual direction and not really unexpectedly I end up at my primary school, Xingnan Primary. Still, it came as a surprise to me.
Here's some backstory. I haven't been inside the school since I was sec 1. Ever since Lao Gau(the current principal) took over he's implemented a number of annoying rules that make it ridiculously hard for ex-students to visit the school. You have to call one of your primary school teachers beforehand, and ask them to meet you at the security guard post at a certain time so they can bring you in. If not you just have to get very lucky and hope you see a teacher you know. So basically, you need a teacher to be there for you to go in. Which sucks, because it was only implemented the year we left the school.
Back to the task at hand. I'm at the school. It's the fence on the side of the school, which makes sense, since I came from the park, which is towards the side. I look through the fence and from there I can see the field, fitness corner, hard court, and the small area where we used to play soccer with tennis balls and sometimes bottles. Of course the school looks really different at night(8.48pm), but I can still see the specific places where memorable events happened, as if our phantoms were there.
I take a walk around the whole perimeter of the school, and a tidal wave of emotions come over me. I'm not making this up. A tidal wave. However, being me, I have already installed sturdy dams for exactly these kind of things, so I actually manage to break the force of the tsunami. Walking around the darkened campus, I feel this urge to go in and see how the school is like.
Flashback...flashback.....It's primary 6. I'm telling my friends how easy it would be to infiltrate the school at night. All the fences are so easy to climb over, I say.
Back to the present. I'm back at the side of the school. Right on the other side of the metal fence, which by the way is about 2 meters tall, is the field. I spend like 10 minutes discussing with myself whether I should go in. I realize this is trespassing but I really wanted to just be back in Xingnan again. So I tell myself to do what I want to do and I try to enter. Technically, I was right about the school being easy to infiltrate. It is. But practically, it takes awhile to work up the guts. The school is beside the PIE, and is also near the carpark and a few blocks of HDB flats. Me climbing in would look suspicious. I find a spot where drivers from PIE can't see me, and the area is covered by leaves. It's a fair distance away from the carpark, and I wait until no one is even within a 200m radius. Then I climb over. What I wanted to do was this. Our school field is surrounded by a really tall fence. There are two gates leading in and out of the field and I wanted to go through these. I climb over, feeling really excited for once. I rush over all stealthy-like and as I reach the gate I realize........there's a fucking padlock. Who locks a school field? My first thought then was, "Fuckkkkkkk..." I didn't bring lockpicks with me and I didn't have a blowtorch, hand grenade, or gun of any kind, so I turned back. And went back out.
Somehow I felt satisfied at just being inside the field again. I think it was that I actually for once went with my intuition and just did what I felt like doing. It was fun. So somehow I felt that going back in made me a little more human. Because I still get waves of emotion once in a while. Sometimes, you just have to let go and be a little crazy. The benefits are usually greater.
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