Alright I've decided that its time for some interaction with my readers. I'm keen to know how you guys think. So I've set a few questions. If you don't mind, please answer using the comment system. If you mind, please answer using the comment system.
First question:
I thought of this one at dinner just now. Train of thought was......saw a crab shell that had sharp spikes->can kill->dead body->how to settle.
Therefore, I would ask you guys....
Suppose one evening you went to visit this guy. You killed him with a sharp crab shell. How would you handle it? Please take the time to answer to this in the comments.
Second Question:
Just thought of it.
Suppose you had to choose between killing an innocent man and saving your own life. If you killed him, you would be alive but half of your body will be paralyzed(you choose which half). If you save him, you DIE. What would you do?
Third Question:
Suppose you're a billionaire with a 7 digit income MONTHLY. You are asked to kill an innocent man to preserve your career. Would you do it?
Fourth Question:
There's a man who tells you his dad is immortal. His dad can do everything and he knows everything. His dad loves everyone, but if you don't believe in his dad you burn. Do you believe him?
Fifth Question:
This is the last question.
Suppose you're walking along on the street one day. A man asks you to kill him, saying that it is required to "preserve the balance". You have no idea what he means. Do you kill him?
That's all. I'm keen to know how you people respond to this. To make it fair, I'll answer the questions too.
1.I would bleach the guy, and pour bleach down his throat. This destroys all evidence. Then I would wash the crab shell, put the guy in his bathroom, and make him hold the crab shell. Then I'll check around for any evidence I might have left, and look around for a pair of gloves so I can touch things without leaving fingerprints. Pick the guy clean of any fibres I might have dropped, then vacuum the area. After that, I'll leave the area when no one is looking and pretend nothing happened. I would arrange for someone to say I was with them at the time of murder should the cops catch on to me.
2.Save the guy. If I kill him, I would be half paralyzed. I hate the thought of being paralyzed. I might as well die. If I die, the guy would be perfectly fine, and can lead a normal life from then on.
3.No. I already have billions. I'll just sell off any unnecessary stuff I have(like an oversized house) and live a simple life. Billions can last me a lifetime even if I splurge. You guys know me, what am I likely to splurge on. NOTHING. Well, almost nothing. so that lasts me a long time.
4.No.
5.yea.
That's all guys. Here's a joke:
A woman was walking on the street when a genie appeared. He said, "I'll grant you 3 wishes but everything you get, your husband gets 10 times of." So the lady goes, "I want to be the most beautiful woman on earth." The genie says,"Ok, but this will make your husband the most handsome man on earth, and women will flock to him." Woman says, "Its alright, because I'll be the most beautiful woman on earth, and he will only have eyes for me." Then she wishes to be the richest person in the world. Genie says, "This will make your husband 10 times as rich as you." Woman says, "It's okay, since what's his is mine, and what's mine is his." So she becomes the very rich and her husband becomes richer. Then she said, "I want to have a mild heart attack"
Moral of the story: Women are smart, don't fuck around with them.
If you're a woman, stop reading now.
If you're a guy, continue.
The husband got a heart attack 10 times milder and nothing bad happened.
True Moral of the story: Woman are dumb but think they're smart, so fuck around as much as you want.
If you're a lady and still reading this, it only shows that women DON'T FUCKING LISTEN.
Just kiddin'. Tell all your guy friends and female friends who have a sense of humour.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Hey
I'm back from the hike....well actually i was back approx. 15.5 hours ago. Overall hike was fun. I learnt that MacRitchie Reservoir has ridiculously long board walks. The atmosphere at night is damn cool. Darkness all around, with spots of moonlight here and there. Shortly before checkpoint 1 we saw this woman who was walking alone down the road. Towards us. At that point of time I was still munching on my Double Cheeseburger which I smuggled in and was squashed partially. They decided that it was unsafe to stay any longer(we were stopping for a short break) so we quickly got up and left. Later when we turned back to look the woman wasn't there. I find it hard to believe that a woman would go to MacRitchie reservoir ALONE for a WALK at 11PM on a SATURDAY. and since she disappeared it means she must have gone into where we came from, which was a dark forested area. wtf?
So anyway, the rest of the hike was uneventful. Being the last patrol to leave, we had all the sec 4s in charge of the checkpoints following us. Police car stopped us once. I think they're STILL searching for our dear escaped JI leader. We reached the end around 3.30-3.45am. i didn't know cos i didn't have a watch or my phone. The end point was carpark B. We saw a black car. with a couple inside. They were fucking. Of course, being the last patrol we didn't see it. They were just sitting inside the car. I shall not go into details to avoid polluting my oh-so-innocent readers.
I died at 4.20am, slept to 5.20 on wet grass patches, then did a substandard skit about the hike. talk talk a bit, went home. i spent the day sleeping and playing rakion.
Here's a little racist joke our senior told us during the hike.
Why do indians celebrate Deepavali?
Because Deepavali is the festival of light, so they can finally be seen at night.
not so funny, but it helped to keep our spirits up during the hike. no offense to any indians out there because the basis of this joke is that indians have a dark skin tone. there is nothing bad about that, and the only reason you would feel offended is if you feel that there is.
So anyway, the rest of the hike was uneventful. Being the last patrol to leave, we had all the sec 4s in charge of the checkpoints following us. Police car stopped us once. I think they're STILL searching for our dear escaped JI leader. We reached the end around 3.30-3.45am. i didn't know cos i didn't have a watch or my phone. The end point was carpark B. We saw a black car. with a couple inside. They were fucking. Of course, being the last patrol we didn't see it. They were just sitting inside the car. I shall not go into details to avoid polluting my oh-so-innocent readers.
I died at 4.20am, slept to 5.20 on wet grass patches, then did a substandard skit about the hike. talk talk a bit, went home. i spent the day sleeping and playing rakion.
Here's a little racist joke our senior told us during the hike.
Why do indians celebrate Deepavali?
Because Deepavali is the festival of light, so they can finally be seen at night.
not so funny, but it helped to keep our spirits up during the hike. no offense to any indians out there because the basis of this joke is that indians have a dark skin tone. there is nothing bad about that, and the only reason you would feel offended is if you feel that there is.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Hey guys
Hey guys time is 1125 as of now. Few hours before i leave for PLC meeting then straight to hike. I will be inactive until 10am the next day EARLIEST.
I have finally managed to download rakion. Apparently my restricted mental capability failed to infer that the failed download attempts was due to a minor problem with firefox. For about 6 months. so.... I finally decided to try using IE, and it WORKED. I still don't know what it was about firefox that made it not work, since i like firefox more than IE. oh well.
For those interested, when i play rakion, i'll always be in singapore 1 server. Look for some funny bs called SiBotakJr. Don't even question me about the origins of that name.
Fairly short post today....nothing much. weather sunny, skies clear....blah blah blah. Hope I don't die after hike. or during.
my tone now is kind of...lazy, for those of you who couldn't infer from the above....
OKAY. a few HowTo guides, then eating and packing, then resting.
HowTo kill ants:
This is fairly simple, but there are ways to extract maximum enjoyment from this.
1.Liquid paper. surround the ant with it quickly, then slowly go in a circle closer and closer to the ant. don't touch the ant directly. let the liquid paper slowly flow to the ant and cover it.
2.Fire. You can:
a)torch it with a match
b)torch it with a lighter.
c)torch it with a stove.
d)torch it.
or just to see it writhe in pain, light a match then after 2 secs blow it out. the head will be hot. infer.
3.Pens. you can impale it with the tip of the pen.. or let it get to the spring and then compress the spring..
4.Spiders.
This is a little difficult due to the fact that there aren't many spiders that can be easily found that are hungry, and it involves picking up the ant, which you might kill while doing so.I suggest keeping a small tank with spiders in it. that way you don't worry about the spiders being hungry. they will be. and you don't have to worry about starvation. if they were really starving they'll eat each other.
pick up the ant gently. try to grab a leg or something. otherwise, maim it slightly, though this takes a bit of fun out because it has 0 chance of getting away from the spider while maimed. drop it onto the spider's web. sometimes, especially if you're using a tank, the spider's web will be more of 3d than 2d, and so cannot trap food very well. but the ant vibrates the web and lets the spider know its there. so just watch. oh by the way, it helps to put stuff in your tank. stuff that your spiders can anchor a web on. i have a mcdonald's cup in mine. you can put a twig..or an old mouse(the computer mouse). anything that isn't flat on all sides. and preferably can reach to half the height of the tank.
that's all.
I have finally managed to download rakion. Apparently my restricted mental capability failed to infer that the failed download attempts was due to a minor problem with firefox. For about 6 months. so.... I finally decided to try using IE, and it WORKED. I still don't know what it was about firefox that made it not work, since i like firefox more than IE. oh well.
For those interested, when i play rakion, i'll always be in singapore 1 server. Look for some funny bs called SiBotakJr. Don't even question me about the origins of that name.
Fairly short post today....nothing much. weather sunny, skies clear....blah blah blah. Hope I don't die after hike. or during.
my tone now is kind of...lazy, for those of you who couldn't infer from the above....
OKAY. a few HowTo guides, then eating and packing, then resting.
HowTo kill ants:
This is fairly simple, but there are ways to extract maximum enjoyment from this.
1.Liquid paper. surround the ant with it quickly, then slowly go in a circle closer and closer to the ant. don't touch the ant directly. let the liquid paper slowly flow to the ant and cover it.
2.Fire. You can:
a)torch it with a match
b)torch it with a lighter.
c)torch it with a stove.
d)torch it.
or just to see it writhe in pain, light a match then after 2 secs blow it out. the head will be hot. infer.
3.Pens. you can impale it with the tip of the pen.. or let it get to the spring and then compress the spring..
4.Spiders.
This is a little difficult due to the fact that there aren't many spiders that can be easily found that are hungry, and it involves picking up the ant, which you might kill while doing so.I suggest keeping a small tank with spiders in it. that way you don't worry about the spiders being hungry. they will be. and you don't have to worry about starvation. if they were really starving they'll eat each other.
pick up the ant gently. try to grab a leg or something. otherwise, maim it slightly, though this takes a bit of fun out because it has 0 chance of getting away from the spider while maimed. drop it onto the spider's web. sometimes, especially if you're using a tank, the spider's web will be more of 3d than 2d, and so cannot trap food very well. but the ant vibrates the web and lets the spider know its there. so just watch. oh by the way, it helps to put stuff in your tank. stuff that your spiders can anchor a web on. i have a mcdonald's cup in mine. you can put a twig..or an old mouse(the computer mouse). anything that isn't flat on all sides. and preferably can reach to half the height of the tank.
that's all.
Friday, May 9, 2008
???
Today's post will be about behaviorism. So if you aren't interested in behaviorism skip to the bottom. Anyone noted that after leaving primary school alot of your friends have become more bengish/lianish/assholy?
I'm interested in what causes this to happen. Before you just go, "its the secondary schools", I've obviously thought of that. You're probably thinking they go to a lousy neighbourhood school which is a bad influence to them. What is interesting is that the people that influence them were once the same as them. What causes this difference in characteristics? Is it just a natural change? Or is there something more? 2 views I've gotten:
Qiken: "influenced by porn"
huh? how does porn drive one to begin smoking and being an ass?
Vanessa: "c'on all these are common sense...........the experience. everyone has different experience"
They all went through the same thing. How is it that for 6 years they remained unchanged but in 2 years they can change so much?
If we can term it like this, let's use the alignment scale from the D&D games. There's
Lawful Good:
Doing good and abiding by the law.
Neutral Good:
Guided by conscience, acting altruistically.
Chaotic Good:
Willing to do anything to do good.
Lawful Neutral:
Believing in lawful concepts, such as honor, tradition.....etc.
True Neutral:
Believing in neither good nor bad, an example being a farmer whose only concern is to feed his family. And most animals, since they lack moral judgement.
Chaotic Neutral:
Follows his/her heart, and shirks rules and tradition.
Lawful Evil:
Believing in exploiting the law to benefit oneself. While they usually obey orders and keep their word, they don't care about the rights and freedoms of others.
Neutral Evil:
Selfish. Has no hesitation about harming others to get what they want, but will not go out of their way to cause trouble when they see no benefit.
Chaotic Evil:
Little respect for rules, other peoples' lives, or anything but their own selfish desires. They typically only behave themselves out of fear of punishment.
According to this list, mostly you see people falling into the Neutral Good category when in primary school. However you begin to see them falling into the Chaotic Evil category in secondary school. What is it that causes a complete drop on the scale? From 1 side straight to the other. Think about it. Humans are naturally resistant to change in what they see as a state which they are content with. What would cause a sudden change like this? With that "Neutral Good" mindset, they would be pretty much content with their lives at that moment. What would cause them to suddenly shift to a Chaotic Evil mindset? Or perhaps they are not truly Neutral Good. D&D has also realized the inflexibility of this moral scale, and has implemented several changes. Something like a mix between the alignments. Such as an Evil character with a touch of Neutral. So it is possible that they could be Neutral Good and partially Lawful Evil. This Lawful Evil eventually overpowers the Neutral Good personality, and turns into Chaotic Evil. This is one way to explain it. However, I still find it weird. It takes 13 years for someone's true personality to manifest, whereas there are no changes in other people?
I realize I may have left out some points in the above text, but I'm very tired and have an activity tomorrow morning. So I'll end off with an introduction to the art of TULPA.
Tulpa is a Tibetan art of conjuring. It is the concept of a being or object created through sheer willpower alone.
One Alexandra David-Neel was visiting an artist. She saw a form behind the artist, and could feel a soft substance that could be compressed easily to touch. She asked the artist about it, and he says he has been engaging in rituals to conjure the image gods he drew, and what she saw was an outline of one of the gods. She became very intrigued by it, and decided to try it out for herself.
She went into retreat, and over months tried to conjure a fat, jolly monk. She eventually created the monk, and the "monk" travelled with her and her companions. He began to appear when she did not call for him, and exhibit lifelike characteristics, such as pausing to look around. Then he became corporeal. Her companions started asking about the "stranger" in their camp. The monk began to grow lean and had a sinister look. One day a herdsman brought her some local produce and mistook the monk for a real man. She realized that this monk was growing malevolent, and decided to destroy it. It took her six months, but she finally did it.
Therefore, tulpa, though interesting, is dangerous. Most reported tulpa creations have been known to kill their masters, or disappear after being sent on a mission, never to be seen again. So, don't try it out. If you do, and something bad happens, get the hell outta there, and find a way to subdue your tulpa as soon as possible. The longer you let him/her/it free, the more it will have lifelike tendencies, will grow fond of life, and will be harder to remove. You will be in danger.
So let's end off with jokes:
A quote:
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the US of arrogance and Germany doesn't want to go to war."
While a Scot is pissing, a dollar falls into the toilet. Desperately, he looks at the dollar and asks himself whether a dollar is worth getting his hands dirty. After a while of thinking, he takes 10 dollars out of his pocket and throws them into the toilet."Well, it's worth getting your hands dirty for eleven dollars!"
One woman stops a taxi. To the airport, please.After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says: "You are the third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today." "Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant." "Well, you haven't arrived to the airport yet either."
This is why I didn't show up for work yesterday. I was cleaning out my wife's grandpa's cellar and found 12 bottles of his home-bottled grape wine under the steps. My wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else. I agreed to do the unpleasant task.I withdrew the cork form the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle, did likewise, and drank one glass, just to check the taste to see if the old fellow knew his wine making. He did.I then opened the third bottle, and poured it, too, down the sink, but not until drinking one full glass to check the purity. It was very good. I did this, also with the fourth bottle. One glass for myself, and the rest down the sink. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next, and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork from the bottle, then corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, glasses and sinks with the other, which were 29, and as the house came by I counted them again, and finally had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank. I felt so foolish that I couldn't go upstairs and congratulate my wife to tell her what a great winemaker her grandpa was. I will do that after climbing the basement steps the next time they come by.
I'm interested in what causes this to happen. Before you just go, "its the secondary schools", I've obviously thought of that. You're probably thinking they go to a lousy neighbourhood school which is a bad influence to them. What is interesting is that the people that influence them were once the same as them. What causes this difference in characteristics? Is it just a natural change? Or is there something more? 2 views I've gotten:
Qiken: "influenced by porn"
huh? how does porn drive one to begin smoking and being an ass?
Vanessa: "c'on all these are common sense...........the experience. everyone has different experience"
They all went through the same thing. How is it that for 6 years they remained unchanged but in 2 years they can change so much?
If we can term it like this, let's use the alignment scale from the D&D games. There's
Lawful Good:
Doing good and abiding by the law.
Neutral Good:
Guided by conscience, acting altruistically.
Chaotic Good:
Willing to do anything to do good.
Lawful Neutral:
Believing in lawful concepts, such as honor, tradition.....etc.
True Neutral:
Believing in neither good nor bad, an example being a farmer whose only concern is to feed his family. And most animals, since they lack moral judgement.
Chaotic Neutral:
Follows his/her heart, and shirks rules and tradition.
Lawful Evil:
Believing in exploiting the law to benefit oneself. While they usually obey orders and keep their word, they don't care about the rights and freedoms of others.
Neutral Evil:
Selfish. Has no hesitation about harming others to get what they want, but will not go out of their way to cause trouble when they see no benefit.
Chaotic Evil:
Little respect for rules, other peoples' lives, or anything but their own selfish desires. They typically only behave themselves out of fear of punishment.
According to this list, mostly you see people falling into the Neutral Good category when in primary school. However you begin to see them falling into the Chaotic Evil category in secondary school. What is it that causes a complete drop on the scale? From 1 side straight to the other. Think about it. Humans are naturally resistant to change in what they see as a state which they are content with. What would cause a sudden change like this? With that "Neutral Good" mindset, they would be pretty much content with their lives at that moment. What would cause them to suddenly shift to a Chaotic Evil mindset? Or perhaps they are not truly Neutral Good. D&D has also realized the inflexibility of this moral scale, and has implemented several changes. Something like a mix between the alignments. Such as an Evil character with a touch of Neutral. So it is possible that they could be Neutral Good and partially Lawful Evil. This Lawful Evil eventually overpowers the Neutral Good personality, and turns into Chaotic Evil. This is one way to explain it. However, I still find it weird. It takes 13 years for someone's true personality to manifest, whereas there are no changes in other people?
I realize I may have left out some points in the above text, but I'm very tired and have an activity tomorrow morning. So I'll end off with an introduction to the art of TULPA.
Tulpa is a Tibetan art of conjuring. It is the concept of a being or object created through sheer willpower alone.
One Alexandra David-Neel was visiting an artist. She saw a form behind the artist, and could feel a soft substance that could be compressed easily to touch. She asked the artist about it, and he says he has been engaging in rituals to conjure the image gods he drew, and what she saw was an outline of one of the gods. She became very intrigued by it, and decided to try it out for herself.
She went into retreat, and over months tried to conjure a fat, jolly monk. She eventually created the monk, and the "monk" travelled with her and her companions. He began to appear when she did not call for him, and exhibit lifelike characteristics, such as pausing to look around. Then he became corporeal. Her companions started asking about the "stranger" in their camp. The monk began to grow lean and had a sinister look. One day a herdsman brought her some local produce and mistook the monk for a real man. She realized that this monk was growing malevolent, and decided to destroy it. It took her six months, but she finally did it.
Therefore, tulpa, though interesting, is dangerous. Most reported tulpa creations have been known to kill their masters, or disappear after being sent on a mission, never to be seen again. So, don't try it out. If you do, and something bad happens, get the hell outta there, and find a way to subdue your tulpa as soon as possible. The longer you let him/her/it free, the more it will have lifelike tendencies, will grow fond of life, and will be harder to remove. You will be in danger.
So let's end off with jokes:
A quote:
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the US of arrogance and Germany doesn't want to go to war."
While a Scot is pissing, a dollar falls into the toilet. Desperately, he looks at the dollar and asks himself whether a dollar is worth getting his hands dirty. After a while of thinking, he takes 10 dollars out of his pocket and throws them into the toilet."Well, it's worth getting your hands dirty for eleven dollars!"
One woman stops a taxi. To the airport, please.After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says: "You are the third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today." "Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant." "Well, you haven't arrived to the airport yet either."
This is why I didn't show up for work yesterday. I was cleaning out my wife's grandpa's cellar and found 12 bottles of his home-bottled grape wine under the steps. My wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else. I agreed to do the unpleasant task.I withdrew the cork form the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle, did likewise, and drank one glass, just to check the taste to see if the old fellow knew his wine making. He did.I then opened the third bottle, and poured it, too, down the sink, but not until drinking one full glass to check the purity. It was very good. I did this, also with the fourth bottle. One glass for myself, and the rest down the sink. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next, and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork from the bottle, then corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, glasses and sinks with the other, which were 29, and as the house came by I counted them again, and finally had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank. I felt so foolish that I couldn't go upstairs and congratulate my wife to tell her what a great winemaker her grandpa was. I will do that after climbing the basement steps the next time they come by.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Hmm
I've been living through plain contrast recently. It seems that I'm having extremely bad luck in life and I'm having extremely good luck in my dreams. I've just been getting lots of bad luck. 2 nights ago I dreamt I got a drum set and something else(don't remember). Last night I dreamt that I was able to parkour perfectly. Someone is having a lot of fun messing with me. Well, time for the good luck spell....and breaking any possible curses..
Monday, April 28, 2008
HowTo.....make HowTo guides.
Today's post will be 90% HowTo guides. The remaining 10% will be fillers.
HowTo beatbox:
1.go to www.humanbeatbox.com
2.click on learn.
3.learn.
I can't describe how often these simple and easy steps are ignored and instead people keep asking me to teach them. I won't.
HowTo scare Alicia:
This HowTo guide has been deleted due to the fact that this list is almost neverending.
HowTo work up library fines of $7.05:
1.Borrow about 4 books.
2.Return them all late.
3.Wait.
4.After about 1-2 months you should have a fine of about $7.00
HowTo O2Jam since the server is down:
1.Go google O2Mania.
2.Download O2Mania.
3.Refer here for a guide on how to use O2Mania.
4.It helps to memorize the hotkeys.
HowTo drink Coke(the stupid and hard way):
1.Shake well.
2.You will need 2 people for the next step.
3.As one of you opens the cap, the other will quickly fit a balloon over the opening.
4.Let the whole bottle drain into the balloon, turning the bottle over if necessary.
5.Drink from the balloon
6.I told you this was the hard and stupid way.
HowTo Rant:
1.Get a topic.
2.Randomly think of stuff related to the topic.
3.Link it up
4.Rant.
HowTo Rap:
1.I dunno this one.
2.In case you haven't noticed, I can't rap.
3.Try asking Samuel Low.
4.But he isn't that good either.
5.Why not try google?
6.Google "How to rap"
7.Let me know if you find this post while googling.
HowTo piss people off:
1.You don't really need a guide for this do you?
2.I really hope you don't
3.If you need help with pissing people off I'm sure Bolun is more than willing to help.
4.Come on...
5.You don't need a guide for this...
HowTo make useless HowTo guides:
1.Refer to above.
HowTo laugh:
1.Go to youtube.
2.Search for "Sunrise Sunset razor ramon"
3.Before you go, let me tell you....
4.It's a song.....about..
5.A certain organ.
That's all. I'm suddenly very thirsty so I'm gonna go down a whole jug of water..
HowTo beatbox:
1.go to www.humanbeatbox.com
2.click on learn.
3.learn.
I can't describe how often these simple and easy steps are ignored and instead people keep asking me to teach them. I won't.
HowTo scare Alicia:
This HowTo guide has been deleted due to the fact that this list is almost neverending.
HowTo work up library fines of $7.05:
1.Borrow about 4 books.
2.Return them all late.
3.Wait.
4.After about 1-2 months you should have a fine of about $7.00
HowTo O2Jam since the server is down:
1.Go google O2Mania.
2.Download O2Mania.
3.Refer here for a guide on how to use O2Mania.
4.It helps to memorize the hotkeys.
HowTo drink Coke(the stupid and hard way):
1.Shake well.
2.You will need 2 people for the next step.
3.As one of you opens the cap, the other will quickly fit a balloon over the opening.
4.Let the whole bottle drain into the balloon, turning the bottle over if necessary.
5.Drink from the balloon
6.I told you this was the hard and stupid way.
HowTo Rant:
1.Get a topic.
2.Randomly think of stuff related to the topic.
3.Link it up
4.Rant.
HowTo Rap:
1.I dunno this one.
2.In case you haven't noticed, I can't rap.
3.Try asking Samuel Low.
4.But he isn't that good either.
5.Why not try google?
6.Google "How to rap"
7.Let me know if you find this post while googling.
HowTo piss people off:
1.You don't really need a guide for this do you?
2.I really hope you don't
3.If you need help with pissing people off I'm sure Bolun is more than willing to help.
4.Come on...
5.You don't need a guide for this...
HowTo make useless HowTo guides:
1.Refer to above.
HowTo laugh:
1.Go to youtube.
2.Search for "Sunrise Sunset razor ramon"
3.Before you go, let me tell you....
4.It's a song.....about..
5.A certain organ.
That's all. I'm suddenly very thirsty so I'm gonna go down a whole jug of water..
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Stealth and Fun.
I realized that people have completely neglected development of the ability to move silently. And have shown complete disregard to the ability. So here's a guide for those of you interested. Note that I know some of you don't care anyway. Ah well. This is a guide blog now.
How to move quietly:
1. Wear socks. I figured this out one morning when i went to get something from my room before leaving for school. I found out that feet produce a lot more friction with surfaces than socks, though some people might choose to believe otherwise. Anyway, more friction means your feet will stick slightly, and when you lift your feet, they will make a sound like someone licking his lips. In a place where it is completely silent, its VERY loud. So wear socks.
2. Whenever possible, move on polished surfaces. Wood is definitely more preferred than tiles. Sure some tiles are polished too, but wood just feels smoother for some reason. If you really have no choice, you can wet your feet or wet the floor. Soap works good for this, but water is a better choice if balance is priority.
3. Walk. Its surprising that some people don't realize running makes a lot more sound than walking. Tiptoe if you have to. Especially in forested areas. Tiptoeing allows you to step between leaves. Dead leaves are painfully loud.
4. When you're not tiptoeing, walk by putting your feet down slowly, heel first, then slowly arching your foot down to make full contact with the ground. Lift your feet clear off the ground when walking. Also, when you put your foot down, don't drag your heel along as you put it down. The moment your heel touches the surface, stop moving it forward, and just put down your foot.
5. Breathing quietly: Just kind of let the air "flow" in and out, only slightly helping with your mouth and nose. This way, there won't be any of those loud whooshes you hear when normal breathing is present. If you feel a lack of air, just increase your rate of breathing because it doesn't affect the sounds you make.
6. How to stop a sneeze: The moment you feel it coming and you know its inevitable, grit your teeth(with your mouth closed), and close your eyes. Try to focus on stopping any movement on your face. Eventually the urge to sneeze will go away. If you were not able to stop it, close your mouth tightly, and grip your nose, preventing airflow. This way, the noise released will be minimal, and you have zero risk of shooting out mucus/saliva.
Hiding:
1. Learn about light. Heard of silhouettes? If you're standing between the light source and the guy, all he sees is your outline. You can use that to your advantage. In a forest, you can pretend to be a log, or a rock. just pull a cloth over yourself. You could even pretend to be a small tree. Break off a few branches and just hold it. In homes, you can pretend to be a lamp. You know those tall standing lamps? turn your body to the side so you look thinner and put the lampshade on your head. Doesn't work if you have a noticeable belly.
2. Bushes are an obvious option. Once I was hiding behind some bushes, and I thought my quarry had seen me, but he didn't. The trick was that, even though I could see him he couldn't see me. Why? Think about it. Through a small hole in the bushes, all the light rays in the surroundings are focused through that hole, so I can see out. But its hard for him to notice me because even though he can probably see the bush and the hole, the light rays from the surroundings are all going towards him. Meaning the hole is so small and natural that its insignificant. Therefore, he doesn't notice you.
3. Trees. Find a tall tree and climb it. Two brothers once kind of perfected the art of hiding. One of their theories was this: People don't look up. And they were right. People seldom look up. This is due to a human's natural ability to remain comfortable, so they look at eye level. In this case, why not stay down, you might ask. On a flat piece of land, a person can see what is on the ground in front of him from a distance away. Even a distance away, a person will not look up at the top of a 5 meter tall tree.
4. Shadows. Shadows are extremely useful. In a place where there are no real shadows, just find the darkest one and try to fit into its shape. If the shadow falls against a wall, press against it. Turn your palms in to press against the wall, and keep the side of your head pressed against the wall. Refrain from moving.
5.How humans see: Its important to learn how humans see things. A master once said this, "A human sees in 3 ways. Movement, silhouette and colour." Peripheral vision is the bane of unnoticed movement. If someone sees a movement, more than likely he will direct his attention towards it.
There's actually a lot more, but I'm lazy. If you're interested in learning more, talk to me, or drop me a line. You should know me if you're reading this. if you don't...well...send me an email at dasilvamonkay@luciferian.org
Readers should be happy to note that I have largely conquered my fear of heights. And now for the HowTo guides. (yes i'm back in the business)
HowTo turn the whole ELDDS against you:
1.You really thought I would write about something like this wouldn't you?
2.I mean, seriously, why would I write about something like this?
HowTo rock:
1.Get your instrument ready
2. Play it.
Researchers suggest the alternative for those without an instrument.
1.Copy your songs into 1 disc.
2.Put it into your dvd player, mp4 player, ipod.. whatever.
3.Jack up the volume
4.Bang head.
Warning: The above mentioned action of banging head might attract public attention and cause harm to others. The author strongly urges you to refrain from such actions in public places, especially crowded ones. Except toilets. Bang your head all you want while peeing you twisted thing..
HowTo make your teachers love you:
Researches have found the following method most effective, as it accomplishes the goal in a considerable short amount of time while keeping you at a considerably safe zone.
1.Screw up your homework.
HowTo make teachers hate you:
1.Know more than them in their subject. For example, talk to your physics teacher about quantum physics, eventually linking it to the big bang theory.
How to move quietly:
1. Wear socks. I figured this out one morning when i went to get something from my room before leaving for school. I found out that feet produce a lot more friction with surfaces than socks, though some people might choose to believe otherwise. Anyway, more friction means your feet will stick slightly, and when you lift your feet, they will make a sound like someone licking his lips. In a place where it is completely silent, its VERY loud. So wear socks.
2. Whenever possible, move on polished surfaces. Wood is definitely more preferred than tiles. Sure some tiles are polished too, but wood just feels smoother for some reason. If you really have no choice, you can wet your feet or wet the floor. Soap works good for this, but water is a better choice if balance is priority.
3. Walk. Its surprising that some people don't realize running makes a lot more sound than walking. Tiptoe if you have to. Especially in forested areas. Tiptoeing allows you to step between leaves. Dead leaves are painfully loud.
4. When you're not tiptoeing, walk by putting your feet down slowly, heel first, then slowly arching your foot down to make full contact with the ground. Lift your feet clear off the ground when walking. Also, when you put your foot down, don't drag your heel along as you put it down. The moment your heel touches the surface, stop moving it forward, and just put down your foot.
5. Breathing quietly: Just kind of let the air "flow" in and out, only slightly helping with your mouth and nose. This way, there won't be any of those loud whooshes you hear when normal breathing is present. If you feel a lack of air, just increase your rate of breathing because it doesn't affect the sounds you make.
6. How to stop a sneeze: The moment you feel it coming and you know its inevitable, grit your teeth(with your mouth closed), and close your eyes. Try to focus on stopping any movement on your face. Eventually the urge to sneeze will go away. If you were not able to stop it, close your mouth tightly, and grip your nose, preventing airflow. This way, the noise released will be minimal, and you have zero risk of shooting out mucus/saliva.
Hiding:
1. Learn about light. Heard of silhouettes? If you're standing between the light source and the guy, all he sees is your outline. You can use that to your advantage. In a forest, you can pretend to be a log, or a rock. just pull a cloth over yourself. You could even pretend to be a small tree. Break off a few branches and just hold it. In homes, you can pretend to be a lamp. You know those tall standing lamps? turn your body to the side so you look thinner and put the lampshade on your head. Doesn't work if you have a noticeable belly.
2. Bushes are an obvious option. Once I was hiding behind some bushes, and I thought my quarry had seen me, but he didn't. The trick was that, even though I could see him he couldn't see me. Why? Think about it. Through a small hole in the bushes, all the light rays in the surroundings are focused through that hole, so I can see out. But its hard for him to notice me because even though he can probably see the bush and the hole, the light rays from the surroundings are all going towards him. Meaning the hole is so small and natural that its insignificant. Therefore, he doesn't notice you.
3. Trees. Find a tall tree and climb it. Two brothers once kind of perfected the art of hiding. One of their theories was this: People don't look up. And they were right. People seldom look up. This is due to a human's natural ability to remain comfortable, so they look at eye level. In this case, why not stay down, you might ask. On a flat piece of land, a person can see what is on the ground in front of him from a distance away. Even a distance away, a person will not look up at the top of a 5 meter tall tree.
4. Shadows. Shadows are extremely useful. In a place where there are no real shadows, just find the darkest one and try to fit into its shape. If the shadow falls against a wall, press against it. Turn your palms in to press against the wall, and keep the side of your head pressed against the wall. Refrain from moving.
5.How humans see: Its important to learn how humans see things. A master once said this, "A human sees in 3 ways. Movement, silhouette and colour." Peripheral vision is the bane of unnoticed movement. If someone sees a movement, more than likely he will direct his attention towards it.
There's actually a lot more, but I'm lazy. If you're interested in learning more, talk to me, or drop me a line. You should know me if you're reading this. if you don't...well...send me an email at dasilvamonkay@luciferian.org
Readers should be happy to note that I have largely conquered my fear of heights. And now for the HowTo guides. (yes i'm back in the business)
HowTo turn the whole ELDDS against you:
1.You really thought I would write about something like this wouldn't you?
2.I mean, seriously, why would I write about something like this?
HowTo rock:
1.Get your instrument ready
2. Play it.
Researchers suggest the alternative for those without an instrument.
1.Copy your songs into 1 disc.
2.Put it into your dvd player, mp4 player, ipod.. whatever.
3.Jack up the volume
4.Bang head.
Warning: The above mentioned action of banging head might attract public attention and cause harm to others. The author strongly urges you to refrain from such actions in public places, especially crowded ones. Except toilets. Bang your head all you want while peeing you twisted thing..
HowTo make your teachers love you:
Researches have found the following method most effective, as it accomplishes the goal in a considerable short amount of time while keeping you at a considerably safe zone.
1.Screw up your homework.
HowTo make teachers hate you:
1.Know more than them in their subject. For example, talk to your physics teacher about quantum physics, eventually linking it to the big bang theory.
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